Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
