We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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