Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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