I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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