i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize