2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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