Barsexuality is the new black.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you will always have a special place in my vag
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Drunk is not a location!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
