things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
