stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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