Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
