How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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