My brain says no but my pants say off.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
