I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
