I will die if light touches me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
