jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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