I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
