Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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