that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize