I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
