Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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