"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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