your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need moral support for this bender
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
