i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
