I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
