We need to rekindle our bromance
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
