we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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