He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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