I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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