it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
