where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
