yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
