The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
