Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
