yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
