I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
