She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
