My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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