I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
