he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
