i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
