get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
