well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
this just has baby written all over it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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