somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
