Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
