My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
is that a dick in a sweater?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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