So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
