i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
