She is in my trunk
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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