my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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