the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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