this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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