The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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