Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
