Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
