Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
