how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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