Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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