By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
