so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
