yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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