You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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